Exhausted

We had our first family therapy session. It was bad. So bad. D is very angry. I don't feel like we made much progress during the session. In fact, the therapist ended it early due to D's aggression and hateful attitude.

D refused to focus on himself and continually talked about other people's issues. I put my foot down about 10 minutes in and told him "I will not listen to you complain about how other people act. We are not here for them, we are here for you."  He will not accept responsibility for any of his actions and almost everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. D feels like I "got rid of him". That was the most hurtful thing he's ever said. But I'm sure he does feel that way. I tried to explain that I'm fighting for him. He's too angry to hear me though. The therapist feels (at this point) he is definitely not safe to be in our home.

The therapist told me that I need to back off and stop trying to accept responsibility for D's actions. That's easier said than done. I immediately thought of the mom with the adult child who still does everything for him. It's easy to say "Why does she still do that? I wouldn't'." But when it comes down to it, it's hard (as a Mom) to cut the rope and make them do it on their own.

We ended the session with me apologizing for D's rude remarks. Ha, right? I caught myself and we laughed it off. I've got some work to do.

I cried off and on, most of the way home. I feel lost, confused, hopeless. I feel exhausted. Absolutely exhausted.